CLINTON LIMBO LINGO:
How Low Can You Go?
The lingo law proposed during President William Jefferson Clinton’s administration might best be illustrated by the limbo dance. Especially pertinent would be understanding how that particular Caribbean dance was supposed to have begun. As the story goes, barriers existed between men and women on the slave ships; getting together meant people had to bend real low and limber to move forward under the barrier. Ergo, the limbo. Beginning as a solemn ritual, only later did it evolve into the rhythmic movement known today. The call for Everybody limbo! means getting down and funky. And so it was when the Clinton Lingo Law was written.
Lovable in its style, so Clintonian in its subtlety, special Executive Order #13166 from then-president William Jeff Clinton shows in action the usual attempt to tickle every kinky joint of the political animus. What every politico strives for: the universal shmooze. Order #13166 answers once and for all the perpetual question: How do you grease all of the people all of the time? And that’s how we get to the limbo.
We could interpret the limbo ie limber dance as the new kow tow. In ceremonies of the global gobble the international bow is no longer just bowing at the hips. That’s why we say Clinton introduced a new kow tow. Kow tow is something you do to a superior to show he be superior. The old kow tow bow was to bend at the butt as low as you can go. The new approach is to get limbo for the people and bend as low as you can go under the Constitution.
State laws have been passed since to extend the Clinton ethnik schmooze by prohibiting the refusal of service to non-English speaking patrons. They have lined up with that early attempt of deconstructive legislation. Clinton’s presidential order in 2002, a ploy for greasing all the people all the time by declaring anyone’s and everyone’s lingo a national language. Another example of going low as you can go.
We say deconstructive legislation because it coyly attempts to accomplish just that: deconstruction. In a newsletter from the Center for Equal Opportunity, Director Linda Chavez exposed that familiar strategy which at once appears to unify the nation while actually taking it apart. What the Clinton carpetbaggers didn’t realize, however, is that by issuing an executive order pretending to accomplish a universal act of brotherly and sisterly love i.e. making everyone’s language the national language, they have provided the strongest argument for limiting not only illegal immigration but all immigration into the United States. Most importantly, it argues against itself for the one national language, traditional flexible delightful English which is coincidentally the language of the Constitution.
But first, let’s peruse the complete list of proposed new national languages. You have to go low in this limbo dance because there are so many different languages to be entered. So let’s limbo our lingo, now. How low can you go?
(10 Oct 02, from Linda Chavez)
Bill Clinton’s Multilingual Scheme
Bill Clinton’s Executive Order #13166 could effectively make these 231 languages official languages of the United States. Election ballots, driver’s license exams, even traffic signs could be required in every language, furthering the Left Wing’s goal of permanently dividing America along ethnic and cultural lines and keeping immigrants completely dependent on the Big Government Welfare State.
ARABIC, NAJDI SPOKEN
BAHAMAS CREOLE ENGLISH
CHINESE, MIN NAN
CRIOULO, UPPER GUINEA
FILLIPINO FINNISH FRENCH
GUYANESE CREOLE ENGLISH
HAITIAN CREOLE FRENCH
HAWAI’I CREOLE ENGLISH
INUPIATUN, NORTH ALASKAN
INUPIATUN, NORTHWEST ALASKA
LOUISIANA CREOLE FRENCH
MIWOK, CENTRAL SIERRA
MIWOK, NORTHERN SIERRA
MIWOK, SOUTHERN SIERRA
NORTHERN CENTRAL AMERICAN
PLAINS INDIAN SIGN LANGUAGE
SALISH, SOUTHERN PUGET
SEA ISLAND CREOLE ENGLISH
YUPIK, CENTRAL SIBERIAN
YUPIK, PACIFIC GULF
ZAPOTECO, SAN JUAN
We are not told their derivation, but many of these names link to American places and are likely to be native. Besides obvious cataloging errors— doubling the listing of the Yupik Central language, for example— accuracy is questionable; the reader is left to wonder what the other Yupik might be welcome as a national language besides the “Central” dialect. At any rate, “honoring” the lingo of 231 different ethniks in the nation exposes a pathetically obvious ploy.
Such a catalog apparently assumes that if there are people within the national borders speaking one of these languages, then it too should be an official language, alongside our hobbled national tongue. Not bad for taking an idea and running it into absurdity. But where does the true absurdity in these machinations of lingo limbo lie? In other words, how low can you go?
A cursory glance at the list shows that probably every kind of people in the world is represented therein– something like a shopping mall in Los Angeles. The list doesn’t even discriminate within a culture, and instead includes different dialects of the same lingo. For example, the Chinese themselves use Mandarin as the official language, with a nodding acquaintance toward Cantonese, yet the Clinton list includes the Hakka, Min Nan, and Yue dialects. Are voting ballots supposed to be printed in all of them? If only in Mandarin, the Hakka might protest. How low can you go?
If the catalog is at all accurate (remember the Yupik), then one thing may be assumed. There must be every kind of ethnik in the world encamped on these shores to be speaking at least one language from that comprehensive swamp list. Maybe it’s a good thing. If we got so far on the civilized scale with just one lingo, imagine how much faster it’s going to be with all the new universal babel on the Babylonian Express. But you have to get low to climb on. All aboard!
There is, however another conclusion derived from this list which would probably not find favor among most Clinton fans. The lingo list implies that immigration is no longer necessary. It suggests instead a flaming anti-immigration policy.
Immigration as a form of conquest is the most racist of all, as any policy based on race would be. Immigration policy practiced so far boots the notion of equality in the butt. Immigration is the portal where different special ethniks are allowed at different intervals in a country which speaks not one jot of immigration in its constitution. Preferences began when John Adams started worrying about sedition, and so immigration policy was forcefully established. But, although the beginning preferences were decidedly English, they now represent a comprehensive patchwork of ethniks of different values and glories.
Yet, within those glories exists the counter-measure of a gigantic ego-driven agenda: to treat the territory as a staging ground for people who refer to “my culture” other than American, at times a complete rejection– if not resentment– of local values. Not a positive effect on the general population. As the recent presidential candidate Governor Bobbie Jindal put it rather cogently: Immigration without integration is invasion.
When Benjamin Franklin calculated how many Englishmen could be gained on North American shores, who could have dreamed the extent, that vast gene pool out there waiting to get a room at the Uncle Sam Hotel? A mega-difference, considering the numbers involved. In “Observations Concerning the Increase of Mankind,” 1755, he speculated:
There are suppos’d to be now upwards of One Million English Souls in North-America, (tho’ ’tis thought scarce 80,000 have been brought over Sea) and yet perhaps there is not one the fewer in Britain, but rather many more, on Account of the Employment the Colonies afford to Manufacturers at Home. This Million doubling, suppose but once in 25 Years, will in another Century be more than the People of England, and the greatest Number of Englishmen will be on this Side the Water. What an Accession of Power to the British Empire by Sea as well as Land! What Increase of Trade and Navigation! What Numbers of Ships and Seamen! . . , How careful should (England) be to secure Room enough, since on the Room depends so much the Increase of her People?
One can understand Franklin’s enthusiasm for multiplying Englishmen. That particular dead white guy was an English colonial in America who helped to fight for and construct a constitution written in his native language. For that we can forgive his single-mindedness to the exclusion of the Yupik speakers, or even speakers of Cocopa.
In fine, A Nation well regulated is like a Polypus. Take away a Limb, its Place is soon supply’d; cut it in two, and each deficient Part shall speedily grow out of the Part remaining. Thus if you have Room and Subsistence enough, as you may by dividing, make ten Polypes out of one, you may of one make ten Nations, equally populous and powerful; or, rather, increase a Nation ten fold in Numbers and Strength.
The link from Franklin’s calculation to the Clinton Lingo Law is obvious. From the early days of settlement, immigration has been forthcoming, if not downright rampant. There were restrictions, of course, such as the Alien and Sedition Act. But even the Japanese interned during the Second World War were for the most part citizens. And though the Chinese only gained naturalization in the 1950s, they have since as a people rectified any deficit in their presence. In short, every ethnik represented by every language and dialect is on board the Good Ship Lollipop.
This condition justifies cancelling any further immigration, with the possible exception of refugees. Things would revert back to the original colonial status of folks who were refugees from power mad leaders abroad, and their progeny. Yet, considering how twisted the world has become of late, even refugees are suspect. Furthermore, consideration of folks simply by number would neutralize the idea of any benefit of immigration. As a dead issue on this soil, it would also neutralize power-mad pols and their wholesale manipulations of ethniks— exemplified by Executive Order #13166.
Construct a fifty foot-high wall at every border, close all ports to outsiders, abolish green cards, render further immigration impossible, and still the nation may boast of full representation of Homer Sapiens as we know him, wearing all costumes, bearing all customs— and languages. The Clinton national lingo list therefore argues anti-immigration more than it does pro. That is, if all the different kinds of people who speak every language are represented here, then no more are needed for physical representation. The only thing left that new folks may add is sheer number. And numerousness is a dubious reward at best. In short, America could say, “we are you, all of you,” and then politely close the door.
And just a footnote for English. Not only do people around the world pay great price to learn it, but it serves in all facets of life from a business deal to getting laid to, yes, government programs— advantages that each president clearly enjoys. Though he may have used translators, it’s a pretty sure bet that Clinton himself did not negotiate his global gobbling trade deal known as NAFTA in any other language but English.
Yet here is another example where English is indeed on the run. As the national lingo and kingpin of the culture, forget it. Shakespeare isn’t around anymore. Even the story of the “Three Little Pigs” is headed for the chopping block because it offends Muslims. But as an instrument of communication, try to sell around the world a computer in Mandarin. Or Yupik. English is renowned not only for its precision but flexibility as well.
But, alas, the marvelous flexibility of English may signal its own demise. Anyone can jack around syllables and conjure phony words such as disinformation which disses false information. And how about the Clinton twist on “is”? Alexander Pope wrote in his Essay on Man that “Whatever is is right.” Bill Clinton sought deeper meaning by asking the ponderous question: “What is is?” English appears to be suffering the fate of Chief Red Cloud’s prediction that the white man will suffocate in his own waste. In the case of burdened Babylonian jive, speakers are too easily choked on syllables, especially out of the mouths of jargheads and political opportunists. English is the canary in the coal mine on that point, and it is suffering the suffocation Red Cloud predicted.
Between balderdash and poppycock, Executive Order #13166 was issued as another obvious cheesy scheme to engage the sympathies of the “little people.” Such tactics are what made that administration famous. Putting that nutty scheme out there to stick to the brain pan of the ignorant— they had to know it wouldn’t fly from the git-go. But the crass and mindless loyalty displayed for ethniks, even at the expense of appearing stupid, is necessary to their ideology. Just limbo folks going low.
Only, there was the one Hispanic woman who wasn’t going for it. Linda Chavez at the Center For Equal Opportunity who exposed the silliness of a lingo list that does nothing more than salve the ignorant and outrage the sensible. And it proved one more thing, inadvertently. The lingo law list shows that the United States is full up on people, every kind and stripe and color of folks. On full display in American cities especially are representatives of each of those sanctioned languages.
But that won’t stop politicos from trying more limbo laws. For them, it forms an integral part of the game. Limbo means to go limber— “limbo across the aisle,” for example— and from that it makes its own limbo rules. As far as lingo goes, how limber can a nation be with so many dialects?
Limber, then, seems the goal for cajoling. Set the bar way way down low. You bend way backwards so that you’re resting as far back as you can. Then try to wiggle under without flopping or touching any part of the Constitution. It’s not easy. Even though humans have assumed the upright position for at least five million years, some still have trouble with it. They seem more comfortable by moving with their asses nearly touching ground. Politicians, especially. They seem to be the ones so limber they can go real low, although some judges aren’t too bad at it either.
And of course there are limbo voters who will always follow. It’s a free country. Anyone can heed the lingo cue and do the limbo now. Step into the voting booth, pull the curtain, and let us all see. How low can you go?